Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
