I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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