Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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