i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
