He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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