So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
