Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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