Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
