He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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