I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize