Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
