just come out here and I will go home with you...
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
