Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
