so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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