There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
