I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize