The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
