do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
