break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
