I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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