Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
