like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
