I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
