the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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