all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
