Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
