cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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