ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
