Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
