i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
