the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
