Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
