This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
