I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
