He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
