why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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