the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
