3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
