is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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