Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I need to sanitize my soul.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
