Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize