This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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