eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
