So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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