Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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