I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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