it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
