Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
