I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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