omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
