im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
